3: Undisputed Realities

1. The challenge that we call TWO BODIES OF EVIDENCE have three distinguishing characteristics:

     * They are _______________ realities of life — we cannot deny either.

     * These two realities do not agree and may be in violent _______________. 

     * The conflict between your faith and your experience presents an unbridgeable ____.


  1.   Describe your two bodies of evidence. 

     My FAITH—What I believe, my expectations, how things SHOULD be:

     My EXPERIENCE—What actually happened/is happening:


3.   Describe your GAP. What is the difference in your life between the WAY THINGS SHOULD BE and the WAY THINGS ARE?


4.   What does it mean when Debbie says that change begins with YOU?

     What would happen if you change your circumstances but did not change ME first?

     What might happen if you make changes in ME before changing your circumstances?


5.    When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”—Maya Angelo

     We can view people as they really are:

        a. by paying attention to their actions

        b. by listening to what they actually say 

        c. by observing what’s important to them

        d. by seeing how they treat others

        e. all of the above


6.   Describe three times in your life when you have allowed people to TELL you who they are:

     1) _______________________________________

     2) _______________________________________

     3) _______________________________________


     Looking at your answers above, can you admit that you LIED TO YOURSELF?

     Why did you want to believe that someone was who you wanted them to be?


     What might happen when you start believing that people are who they SHOW YOU they are?

        WORST THING THAT MIGHT HAPPEN: ___________________________

        BEST THING THAT MIGHT HAPPEN: _____________________________

        Other: _________________________________________________________


7.   “I had borne the responsibility of the behavior of others, thinking I was acting in love. But I had it all backward. We can never be responsible for the behavior of others, only for ourselves.”

     Have you ever blamed someone else for your own failures? If so, when?

     Have you ever taken responsibility for others? Explain below:

     I know that I can be responsible ONLY for my own actions, and never for someone else’s, because: ______________________.


8.   Write out Hebrews 11:1:


9.  Many times your circumstances will offer hardcore evidence that is contrary to your faith, but it is important that you do not deny either your faith or your experience.  TRUE or FALSE


10.  “Truth is not about resolution.” 

     What does this statement mean?

     How can you GET REAL about your experiences and relationships without trying to fix it?


11.   “How could I face the fact that I could never recapture those lost years? What was I to do with my life? What now?”

     What INVESTMENTS (time, energy, caring, emotions, relationships, etc) have you made in your past that did not produce a harvest (did not work)? List them below:

     Explain how you can LET GO OF THE PAST so you can move on.


12.  Living a lie is often easier than facing reality. TRUE or FALSE



BONUS QUESTION: Look again at your answer to #11, about wasted investments. Can you see FLAWED MENTAL HABITS in your behavior (a WAY OF THINKING) that may have actually been broken thought processes at work?

Living a lie is often easier than facing reality.

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