NOTE: This module has more questions than most others. This is due to the depth of the content and the impact that emotional brokenness has on relationships. Please take your time as you answer the questions below, expecially those of a personal nature.

1.  Write out 1 John 1:7 below:

     What do you think it means to “walk in the light” in regard to relationship?

2.    Legal bonds between people can create a false sense of security. TRUE or FALSE

3.    Who do you know that treats friends better than family? What is wrong with that?

     How could this affect one’s future in a detrimental way?

4.   “You can love someone and not like them.”

     Who do you love—but do not like? Why don’t you like them? Write it down.

     Do the people in your life like you? Why do you need them to like you?

     Is it a sin not to like someone?

5.   Circle the statement that does not belong.

     a) Brokenness attracts brokenness.

     b) Birds of a feather flock together.

     c) Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.

     d) God loves everybody.

6.   Males and females are equally susceptible to emotional to injury in childhood. TRUE or FALSE

7.   Men and women respond to emotional injury in different ways. Place a W by the statements below that describe women, and an M by the statements that describe men.

     __ Are more willing to connect with their brokenness.

     __ Often refuse to admit their brokenness, even to themselves. 

     __ Tend to absorb the brunt of emotional pain, directing it inward. 

     __ Often doubt themselves and display a marked lack of self-confidence. 

     __ Tend to direct their anger and frustrations outward.

     __ Commonly find themselves in abusive situations.

     __ Are more apt to give their partner another chance—and then another. They may appear weak.

     __ Can suffer greatly from self-contempt and will act out in order to find relief.

     __ Are more likely to suffer from depression, to bear responsibility for others, and to absorb the blame for matters outside their control.

     __ Are more apt to withdraw socially and develop chemical substance abuse.

8.   “Children who don’t receive what they needed from one parent will sometimes attempt to fulfill that need in a romantic partner as adults. These are the grown men looking for a mother figure, and the women with daddy issues.” 

     Who do you know that fits this description? (Male and female)

     Does this describe you? If so, tell what happened in childhood, how you responded as an adult, and what dysfunction followed. Where are you now?

9.   “The gaping hole left in the heart of the emotionally injured is far too deep to be resolved by another human.” 

     Why are people not the answer?

10.  Place a check by all the following statements that are true. Manipulators:

     __ play on another’s emotions.

     __ rely on relationship.

     __ prey on those who are not particularly sure of themselves.

     __ use various tactics, such as threats, fear, promises, charm, sexual attraction, fits of rage, sympathy, pouting, tears, and anything else necessary to move the target.

     __ usually appear to be the “good guy.”

     __ are fueled by doubt but may appear over-confident.

     __ are out to get what they want. 

11.  Describe NARCISSISM.

     How is NARCISSISM related to MANIPULATION?

12.  All the statements below are true except for one. Place an X by the incorrect statement.

     a. Narcissists have an excessive need for attention.

     b. All narcissists have a heart bondage.

     c. Narcissists have a lack of empathy for others.

     d. Narcissists are plagued by relationship troubles.

     e. All manipulators are narcissists.

13.  A manipulator will deliberately and consciously choose a person as an object through which to attain their purpose; this is their __________________.

     Explain why we are not VICTIMS.

14.  Describe CODEPENDENCY.

15.  There are two partners in a codependent relationship: the taker and the care-taker. In the Freedom Class, we call these the ______________________ and the _________________.

16.  “Often, the Enabler is raised in a family with a dysfunctional parent and learns to placate that parent to make life easier for them and their siblings. These caretakers tend to repeat the pattern in their own relationships as adults.”

     Debbie explains how she fell into this pattern of dysfunction as a teenager. Did this happen to you? Explain.

17. Below are five signs of codependent behavior. Write a short definition beside each one, then answer the questions.

     1) PEOPLE-PLEASING:

        Have you ever been—or are you now—an ENABLER? 

        Have you supported dysfunctional behavior? Are you doing it now? Explain.

     2) LACK OF BOUNDARIES:

        What would healthy boundaries look like in your life?

        When have you allowed a lack of boundaries to characterize your relationships?

        Have you allowed another person to dominate you to your detriment?

        Has someone else been the “taker,” while you failed to see your wants and needs met? 

     3) LOW SELF-ESTEEM:

        Note: Those with deep emotional injuries from childhood are particularly susceptible to codependency.

     4) CARE-TAKING:

        Have you developed a martyr mentality? 

        Do you consider yourself the “good one” and they are the “bad one”?

     5) REACTIVITY:

        Have you been defensive, or blamed yourself for everything?

        Have you taken on the responsibility for other’s behavior?

        Have you lost touch with your own wants and needs?

18. “We must be careful not to misuse scripture or interpret scripture out of context to validate poor behavior.”

     Have you done this? If so, tell about it. Explain why it didn’t work for you. Explain why we cannot apply scripture to justify dysfunction.

 19.  Below are the FIVE THINGS TO KNOW WHEN OBSERVING DYSFUNCTION IN OTHERS. Which of these stands out most to you? 

     Circle the ones that you have failed to employ in the past. 

     How can you be confident that you”ll adopt these new mental habits going forward? Make a note by the ones you circled; explain what you did wrong in the past, and how you can get it right in the future.

     What struggles can you expect to encounter in your commitment to follow through with this? How will you handle it?

        1) Bad habits and personality flaws are constant and not likely to disappear without counseling, inner healing, and/or deliverance. We might say that these personality traits are temporarily permanent.

        2) When we judge the actions of another, we must view them through eyes of reality. In relationships, we are required to be real.

        3) You are not the answer to someone else’s brokenness.

        4) “All you need is love” is a recipe for personal disaster.

        5) Dysfunction is about deep emotional injuries; it’s a matter of the heart. It’s not about situations and circumstances; it’s not because someone you’re in relationship with needs to be loved; and it’s certainly not because they just need someone to understand them. 

20. Have you manipulated others? Have you formed mental habits that look like codependent behavior on the controlling end?

     Explain why manipulation is the devils work.

     Write out Ephesians 5:1-2 below:

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BONUS QUESTION: Do your relationships benefit you? Do they sustain and support your devotion to Christ, your commitment to excellence, and your aim to attain your highest purpose in life? Do you have some relationships that need to be severed? 

Perhaps you have familial relationships (legal bonds) that are unsupportive or hostile to your life goals. How can continue in relationship with these people while maintaining healthy boundaries and personal peace?